The Bar Fight
by Link1988
Summary: Awesome ass bar fight showdown, between Cloud and Squall


The Bar Fight  
  
"Give me something hard!" Cloud demanded. The bartender rushed and got a shot glass. "Here you go sir." Cloud was very depressed. He and Yuffie were in a Chocobo accident. Yuffie didn't make it, and Tifa told Cloud he shouldn't have been putting morphine in the Chocobo's diet.  
Cloud staired at his glass, he noticed in the reflection, he saw his friend Squall. Squall took a seat, "Long time no see, so I heard you was in a Chobobo accident. What a dumbass, how could you crash a bird?" Cloud's face turned red, "The bird had been on morphine." Squall rolled his eyes,"excuses, excuses,". Cloud just sat there drinkin away. Squall thought he could cheer Cloud up a little.  
"Cloud, atleast you didn't get decapitated like Yuffie." Cloud got pissed off, and took out his buster sword. "You think its funny don't ya Squall, well I'll show you decapitated." Cloud swung his sword. Squall ducked from Cloud's pathetic atempt. "If ya wanna fight atleast wait till ya sober up." Cloud was about to explode,"You dumb Mutha fucka, I could take you with my eyes closed!" Squall drew his gunblade.  
Squall kept blocking. Cloud was raging around the room destroying everything. Squall saw Cloud was out of control, he decided fighting was the only way out of this. He and Cloud cracked there swords together over and over. Then as Cloud decided to use Ultima, Squall quickly put reflect on. BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!. The force of Ultima made a huge explosing, and made a crater about the size of a football field.  
Everybody dead except Squall and Cloud. Squall got off the ground, "I can't believe you just killed over 20 people." Cloud still standing up smiled, "I don't care anymore, if I would have known what I know now, I would have helped Sephiroth destroy the planet." Squall didn't know what Cloud meant, "What do you know now that you didn't know back then?" Cloud started limping over toward Squall. "It's about me, I got no reason to live, I have an STD." Squalled laughed,"damn you get pissed off easy,". Cloud wondered what was going through Squall's mind. Squall pulled something out of his pocket. Cloud stood there trying to figure out what it was. Squall handed it over to Cloud. "Drink it." Squall demanded. Cloud didn't question, he drank it without questioning what it was.  
Cloud felt something moving through his viens and blood started moving backwards. "What the hell is this?" Cloud questioned. It's a +remedy, with a special ingredient." Squall answered. "And what would that be?" Cloud asked curiously. "JIZZUM" Squall said. Cloud looking was looking pissed off again," You nasty little shit"  
Just as they started to fight again, Tifa came to her exploded bar to see what happened. "Cloud did you use Ultima again?" She looked serious. Cloud answered looking nervous, "No..." Tifa started to smile a little "whatever,".  
Cloud looked over at Squall, they raised there weapons. After fighting for about 30 min, Squall tripped Cloud. Squall started to stab Cloud, but Tifa moved in front of him.  
Tifa fell to the ground bleeding. Cloud looking at Tifa. "WHY, why does all my hot chicks die on me like this?!!!!. Squall didn't even shead a tear. Cloud looked at him, "How can you look so blank, you just killed her doesn't that bother you the least bit?" Squall smiled, "Hell no." Squall pulled out a pheonix down and used it on Tifa, she revived but still weak. Cloud started beatin himself over the head with his buster sword, "Why didn't I ever think of that?" Squall opened his car, "We gotta take Tifa to the hospital, so she can rest." Cloud picked Tifa up and put her in the car.  
When they got to the hospital, the doctors took Tifa to an empty room. Squall told Cloud to follow him to the doctors office. Cloud didn't know why, but he followed anyways. Squall smiled, "Cloud I want you to get your STD check." Cloud didn't understand, but he listened. The results said he didn't have AIDs anymore. "Cloud picked up his sword and did a spineruni,"OH YEAH, IM CURED!!!". The doctor was also amazed. The doctor wondered how he was cured. Squall explained, "I put some of my Jizzum in a +remedy and it healed him." "How" Cloud and the doctor both asked. "My jizzum has a special antidote, Im imune to the stuff, so now Cloud is too. Disgusting but cool Cloud thought. Cloud ran down to Tifa and told her everything. They fucked all night long. The doctor took Squall to a special room, "I want you to jerk it, and make as much jizzum as possible, we will pay you 2000 dollars for every teaspoon you produce." Squall quickly became richer than Bill Gates, and Cloud banged as many girls as he wanted, without worrying about STDs.  
  
Now thats some funny shit eh? 


End file.
